Nothing to Hide
by Mandi-girl
Summary: A short, reflective fic from Yuki's point of view. Set on the night of Neal's Ordeal, Yuki finally accepts that her feelings for Neal are feelings of love.


**It has recently come to my attention that there are no Neal/Yuki fics. This is a short, reflective fic set on the night of Neal's Ordeal. It's basically Yuki's thoughts about her feelings for him. Reviews are much appreciated, by the way.**

**PS - Against the Odds is coming along, trust me. I'm writing chapters seven and eight as you read this, and I plan on posting them both (together) soon. This idea was just too good to put on hold.**

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"Nothing to hide" by Mandi-girl

                "God's all bless, Squire Neal." I said as Kel and I prepared to leave him in the Squires' wing. He gave us a shaky smile and thanked me. That Midwinter day Kel ,Neal, and I had gone to fairs in the city. It was all a ploy to rid Neal of his worries, for tonight he would face the Chamber of the Ordeal.

                As we turned to leave my eyes caught his for one, brief moment. I could see that he was nervous, and frankly I didn't blame him. Memories of Squire Joren's Ordeal were still fresh in my mind; his blond hair matted down with sweat, icy blue eyes closed to the world, face pale and lifeless. If that were to happen to Neal, if his eyes lost that sparkle of life… I don't know what I'd do.

                Kel and I had been walking in complete silence. As we crossed the main hall of the palace Kel said, "You're afraid for him." which took me completely by surprise. Was I that easy to read? I opened my shukusen to hide my expression of embarrassment. A Yamani does not show her emotions openly, not even to friends. 

                She excused herself, then pushed the shukusen away from my face. Kel admitted that she, too, feared for Neal and suggested that we spend the night together. We could both try to distract our minds. I knew it wouldn't work, of course. No matter what my mind - and my heart - were with Neal tonight. 

                As we stood in the hall I began telling Kel everything, despite my Yamani training. She was just so easy to talk to, and if kept my feelings bottled up any longer I might have gone mad. I told her about Joren, and how I saw the chamber doors open to his dead body lying on the floor. "If something were to happen to Neal.." I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence.

                Kel smiled teasingly. "I wondered, but you flirt with so many men, I wasn't sure."

                "Neither was I." I answered. "Until today."

                Yes, that was true, I had flirted with a number of men in the past. Some may think I did so for the sport of toying with their minds and hearts, but that wasn't the case. I was looking for something. 

I was looking for what every female wants. 

I was looking for love. 

                The ironic thing about love is that it's easily missed. I expected it to be obvious, for it to reveal itself the minute I spoke to a man. In reality, love is much simpler than what I thought. It's being able to talk for hours without a moment of silence, caring for a person with your heart and soul, and not having to hide a single thing from them. When I first met Neal I found him to be just like any other young man. 

                I learned a lesson that Midwinter day: you always find love in the person you least expect. It wasn't until that day that I was able to define my feelings for Neal. 

                Kel set straight to work. She tried to distract me with glaive practice, archery, baths, and massages. As I predicted, they didn't work. My mind wasn't on my opponent, or the target. Thankfully the bath did make me sleepy. I sat in an arm chair in Kel's room, thinking. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until Kel woke me up before dawn.

                I changed into fresh clothes, and just before we headed out the door, grabbed my shukusen. I had to catch up with Kel a lot as we walked to the Chapel, and we arrived just as the sun came up. We weren't the only ones in the Chapel that morning. It seemed obvious that I wasn't the only one with fresh memories of past Ordeals. 

                We stood in the Chapel for what seemed like an eternity. I was trembling, but I wasn't cold. My eyes stared blankly at the iron doors, wondering what was taking place inside. Suddenly the iron door opened. I grabbed Kel's arm, afraid of seeing Neal lying on the stone floor. My heart stopped beating right then.

                And then it began again, for I saw Neal stumble out of the Chamber. He looked as though he'd been through a living nightmare, but he was alive. He had passed his Ordeal, and could now fulfill his dream to become a knight of the realm. I couldn't have been prouder. 

                Lady Alanna stood by him, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. She led him to the open door of the Chapel. As he passed Kel and I he turned to face me. I looked into his intense green eyes and thankfully found the sparkle was still there. It's difficult to explain what else I saw, but when his eyes met mine I knew he truly loved me. And at the same time he was asking me to love him in return.

                My hand rested on the shukusen tucked into my obi. I was ready to open it across my face when I realized I had nothing to hide from him. Love, when you find it, is not something meant to be hidden.  

I took my shukusen from the obi I wore and offered it to Neal. By doing so I revealed my true feelings to him. His hand took the fan from mine, shaky fingers grasping the dull end. At that moment, without so much as one word exchanged, Neal knew what my answer was.__

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**I hereby issue a challenge. I would like someone to write a Neal/Yuki fic explaining their relationship; first impressions, how their feelings developed with time, and how they came to fall in love. Here are some rules to follow:**

**1) ****The fic has to be in first person from either Neal or Yuki's point of view.**

**2) ****Neal must overcome his poor writing skills and write a beautiful poem for Yuki. Include the poem in the story.**

**3) ****There needs to be a part in which Neal asks for Yuki to show him some Yamani-style fighting, and Yuki kicks his butt… this rule is purely for mine and others enjoyment. **

**4) ****It has to be longer than 5 chapters. **

**Other than that, it's all yours. If anyone takes this challenge, please e-mail me at: goddess_of_strawberries@hotmail.com**


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